In a perfect world, you and your child would visit private schools, talk them over, and then reach the same conclusion about which one is best with no disagreement whatsoever. Occasionally, that actually does happen, but it's more likely your opinions will differ and conflicts will arise. Educational consultant Nicky Carpenter calls this part of the decision-making process “a rollercoaster ride.” Whether you find the process scary or exhilirating, it's likely to be an up, down and all-around process, but the good news is that it will come to a conclusion.

It may not be easy, but with a a few pointers you can smooth out the ride and choose a school in spite of any differences. 

Know each other's expectations
How much say your child should have in the decision-making process depends on his or her age. Admission counselors advise that the older children get, the more input they should be allowed. Before making any visits, you and your child should openly discuss each other's expectations and needs and reach an understanding before you head out the door. You might have one agenda and your child may have another but most difficulties can be worked through if everyone clearly communicates their expectations. 

If a school visit seems to go well for everyone except your child, then something may have triggered his or her anxieties. Karen Suplee Hallowell, Director of Admission at George School in Newtown, Pennsylvania, notes that children's fears are often transitory, so encouraging your child to discuss what he or she doesn't like about a school is essential. If you don’t open the lines of communication, it will be difficult to discern the real reasons behind your child’s reactions, particularly if a visit goes south. 

Sometimes, kids make decisions for odd reasons, but it's wise to listen because they can be valid. As long as you are satisfied that your child's needs are being met, their opinions should play a part in the final decision. Children often observe things that many parents easily overlook. 

The role of intuition
If you're stuck on making a decision after defining your child’s needs and narrowing the field to four or five possible schools, then “chemistry” during the campus visit may be the swaying factor that elevates one school over another. "Not until then," cautions Andi O'Hearn, an educational consultant. "You may not be able to articulate why, but I've seen it happen time and again where that inner voice says this is the right place."

Intuition doesn't necessarily come from out-of-the-blue, however. Parents and children who are able to rely on intuition probably did a lot of homework about a school before visiting it. 

Patience is a virtue
Heather Hoerle, Director of Member Services at the National Association of Independent Schools in Washington, D.C., suggests sitting on all of the information that you gather (the written literature from the school, your notes, impressions from your visit) for a while. In other words, don't make a snap decision. If the visit took place in September and your child is accepted in March, Hoerle recommends making additional visits to schools that are high on your list. Your child may have gone through some big changes during the interim and another school may be a better fit. 

Robert Murphy, Director of Admission at The Blue Ridge School in St. George, Virginia, recommends that ultimately, "parents should come up with a list of schools they will invest in for their child, and say, 'I'm happy with these four schools. Which of these four are you most happy with?" The end result will be a choice more likely to satisfy everyone.